By Sara Kohl

“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you; but whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave; even as the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” ~ Matthew 20:25-28

The flow of today’s first reading into the Psalm seems seamless: Jeremiah’s plea for salvation to the Psalmist’s call for the kindness of the Lord. Both writers are in the hands of their enemies and looking to the Lord’s hand to rescue them. Their humble prayers of surrender seem simple, yet this is always where I go wrong.

“Is evil a recompense for good?”

My continual struggle with a specific mental illness reached its peak throughout my years in undergrad. I went time and time again to prayer, begging God for healing. Though He was slowly and gently bringing me the redemption I was seeking, I still agonized over what seemed like a battle I was fighting alone. 

Jeremiah took the question right out of my mouth: “Is evil a recompense for good?” (Jeremiah 18:20). Must this suffering persist in my life even though I am faithful in prayer? Must my sacrifices for my family go unnoticed? Must I still struggle with this sin despite my efforts to be detached from it?

“The Son of man came not to be served but to serve”

Of course, Jesus has already heard my prayer and answered my question. The redemptive suffering which Jesus is referring to in the Gospel is often twisted into the mindset that the Lord wants you to suffer in order for you to be worthy of His love. How much this thought must sadden our Savior!

Redemptive suffering means looking to the cross and remembering the Resurrectihttps://catholicvineyard.com/trusting-in-gods-love-even-when-he-seems-silent/on. Redemptive suffering is the Lord knowing my heavy heart in my college years and using my continual offering of it to Him as a way to benefit the Body of Christ, that is, His Church. If nothing else, redemptive suffering is teaching me to love Him better, which has always been the true longing of my heart.

How has the Lord heard your cry to Him for His kindness? What are you still asking of Him, and how is the waiting leading you to love Him and those around you more fully?

Prayer:

Dear Jesus, I often struggle to remember that You are redeeming all things, even my suffering. I give my pain, my struggle, my heavy heart to You, not asking You to take it away but to be with me in it. Teach me to love You better through this redemptive suffering.

Call to Action:

Take a moment to be with the Lord in your heart. Call to mind a particular area of suffering in your life, and specifically unite it to Christ on the cross. Look for how that particular suffering is teaching you to love Him better.

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