By Andrea Bear

“Indeed, some are last who will be first, and some are first who will be last.” ~ Luke 13:30

Pushing the rolling cart of chairs back into the storage closet, I wiped the sweat from my forehead. Only a handful of people were in the Church Hall cleaning up after a conference of 150 women hearing God’s word.  My mood was not the most pleasant, but I was grateful my friend Grace had stayed to help clean up.

“The speakers were beautiful,” she said, in a joyful tone.

“Yeah, except the amps made it hard to hear “I said unenthusiastically.

“But the evening was so holy.”

“We were short on a few vendors, and only half the ticket sales from last year.” 

I couldn’t find much to be excited over. Bitterness and resentment swept over me. I was doing all of this for the Lord, to bring others to Christ and for what, for less than stellar results?

“Don’t get caught up with the numbers,” she replied. “If it impacted even one person, then the entire event was worth it,” she said merrily. I gave a half smile, but deep inside, I was let down. What were we doing that was so unattractive?

“This just seems like a waste of time to put in all this energy and get little out of it.” I said in a resentful tone.

Grace put down her box of candle holders and lovingly smiled at me. “You know, I realized you’re an overachiever.”

An overachiever? I was perplexed by the comment. I had never been a straight-A student in school. No one had ever called me an overachiever.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“You expect others to operate the same. If you’re doing God’s work, He will bring the people and the ones who need to hear it, you can’t decide that.”

Grace had pointed out something I was oblivious to. “Only God can decide what is fruitful.” My focus had become less on Jesus and more about myself and my accomplishments. But it wasn’t just the event. My attitude was not drawing crowds either, because I was not leading with love.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus points out that the gate to heaven is a narrow gate, and even those who have walked with Jesus are not guaranteed a spot.  “Some who are first will be last, and some who are last will be first.” In my encounter with Grace, I was a reminder that despite my Church activity, I could not center my faith purely on the external, but that God wanted transformation from within.  If we are not leading with a loving heart, people will not see God through our actions, and we become unrecognizable. As Jesus points out, “I do not know where you are from.”   Unlike Grace, who focused on the fruits of the Spirit, I had been focused on the failures. God is calling us to do more than put on or attend Church events. He is asking us to know Him, desire Him. Like Abraham, Moses and Jacob who were some of the greatest leaders of our faith, we must lead through our reliance on God, if we want a seat at His table.

Prayer

Jesus, I help my actions become holy like You, so that others may see You rather than me. Instill in me the grace and desire to do your will. Amen.

Call to Action

How can you remember to keep love at the center of all your actions and service? How does your relationship with God lead others to holiness? 

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