By Kathleen Billings



A good wife who can find?
~ Proverbs 31:10a


I heard a priest once say during a wedding homily that when two become one in the Sacrament of Marriage, you must decide which one! All joking aside, blending two lives into one is no easy feat. A Christian wife is a woman of strength and purpose who lives a life of integrity. If you reflect these qualities, then you have a foundation for a solid and meaningful marriage.

Some days you give more of yourself than your spouse and some days he gives more than you. You are a team.

We are called to be a sincere gift of self to our husband, even when we are hurt, are tired, or have had a long day.


First Fruits

We are tired most days, right? By the time we get to spend time with our husbands, we often give what is left of us instead of our first fruits.

When we tithe, we are asked to give our first fruits financially, give to God first, and then take care of other financial needs. This is what we are called to do in marriage, give our first fruits to our husband. Unfortunately, we often end up giving what’s leftover; we give to everyone and everything else and we give our husbands scraps. When we do this, it creates disorder, and this disorder creates chaos in our home. We end up finding ourselves unhappy in our marriage and our family, wondering where we went wrong.
As wives, we need to prioritize spending quality time with our husbands. Have fun together and laugh, this is great medicine in marriage. Take time to consummate your marriage, do not withhold this from your husband as a means of control, but freely give of yourself as Christ gave of himself. Talk, and listen even more.

St. Edith Stein said, “The woman’s soul is fashioned as a shelter in which other souls may unfold.” God created us as women to be the heart of our home and a shelter for our family. Our husbands should find shelter in our souls and our hearts must be a safe place for them to enter and find reprieve when they feel worn out.


Men want to be respected. When you do not respect your husband, he feels de- masculinized. When a husband feels disrespected by his wife he often shuts down and shuts his wife emotionally out. On the contrary, when we show our husbands respect it drives them to be the best version of themselves and to live lives of strong character and holiness.

God ordained that a wife would have tremendous influence in her marriage even as she willingly submits to her husband as head of the home. If I see my husband is struggling in his walk with God, it is difficult for me to trust in his leadership as head of our home and I am tempted to take control of our ship and steer it in a different direction, – but this is not what God expects of me.
God wants us to love our husband so purely, so authentically, that my love motivates him and drives him to want to be the best man he can be. My heart should inspire him to live a life of character and virtue so that he can naturally take his place as head of our home.

When we as women strive for holiness and live lives of virtue we support and encourage our husbands to also strive for holiness and be men of character. “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.” – Maya Angelou


Lord, may my heart be so hidden in you that my husband must seek you to find me.

Call to Action

Is your heart hidden in God? Read and reflect on Proverbs 31.


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