When I was first diagnosed with MS almost a decade ago, I remember thinking life—or at least my career—was “over.” But that’s not what
happened. Not even close.Since receiving my diagnosis and despite being tired all the time, I’ve written four more books and numerous articles, taught numerous
courses at my university, served as a spiritual director to dozens of beautiful souls. I’ve led retreats all over the country, and my speaking
schedule has never been so full. I’ve traveled, even visiting the Holy Land, where I took a dip in the Sea of Galilee. I’ve never been more productive nor more effective for the Kingdom than since I was diagnosed.And this reminds me of our reading. ~ Liz Kelly (Lesson Seven Reflection)
Hey Y’all! I’ve been off the rails for a bit with vacation (lame excuse) but I’m back and reflecting on the scriptures this week and the reflection. What prompted me to comment today was thinking through Question 2: Name one surprise grace you received as a result of suffering for the kingdom?
I’m not sure that I have truly “suffered for the kingdom” per se, but I’ve been struggling the last few years with physical pain that impacted my ability to walk. A former fast paced walker, I was suddenly the slowest one, limping along and sometimes bowing out of activities if I felt there would be too much walking or standing. The thing was to look at me, you could not see my pain or know that I had pain (unless I was limping or in my moon boot).
Going through this has really made me realize how impatient or critical I’ve been of others. No just those who appeared to be “taking their time” walking in front of my car or moving too slowly through a store or down a walkway. In my mind they needed to pick up the pace, get moving, get out of the way. But also, too impatient or critical with folks with whom I could not understand or relate to their pain because I could not see it.
Suddenly, I was that person. I was constantly trying to step aside and allow others to pass me by. I hung my head as I slowly walked in front of a car as fast as my aching body would move silently wishing they would be understanding. I was incredibly embarrassed to be allowed to walk up to the special needs area of the voting line and be allowed to sit while other able-bodied folks (some older than me) were standing in the line for hours.
This whole experience, including the helpless 6 weeks post-surgery where I literally depended on my elderly parents for everything has been extremely humbling. Not only has it opened my eyes to being kinder and more generous with my patience, but with acknowledging other’s pain.
Sometimes we cannot see or even begin to understand that someone else is in pain, be it physical, spiritual, mental, or emotional. We see their body/life through our eyes and think, are they nuts? Why is this bothering them? Pain is pain! Whether we get it or we can see it, the pain is real to that person, and we must be compassionate rather than dismissive.
I remind myself that we are all trying to do the best with where we are and not to compare or become impatient or judgmental. Rather to have patience and compassion and try to share a smile, let people know they are loved just as they are. 🙂
I know this is a bit off course, but this is where the question took me and I really felt moved to share. 🙂
Thank you for sharing, Nikki. Your insight is impactful, a lesson I need to learn as well. It is too easy to become judgmental and not consider what other’s are experiencing.
Many years ago, I was taking a class on Spirituality. At a certain point in the class the teacher asked us to close our eyes, and start repeating a word, or a short prayer. All this was done quietly. I closed my eyes, and started praying. Little by little a scene developed in front of my eyes. Jesus was in the cross looking down and the people were crying and looking up at Him. I was among those people and they were all dressed the way they dressed at those times. I got scared and opened my eyes, and didn’t close them again. Students were still praying. For a long time I was afraid of closing my eyes! I told the friend that had gone with me to the class about what I had seen and I told the teacher, but not many people. Many years passed and while walking the Stations of the Cross with other women in the parish, I realized what I had seen before, was Station #12, when Jesus died. I recognized that was why Jesus had His head down and why people were crying. This was the beginning of me understanding what I had seen. Time passed and one morning our pastor was talking about Jesus in the Cross with His hands extended on both sides and what that meant. Jesus was showing us how much He loved us!! Then I remembered how I used to play a game with my children in which I would asked them how much they loved me and from the little ones to the older ones they would stretch their arms to the sides and answer in Spanish: “Tanto” ! which in Spanish meant “THIS MUCH.” I understood the message finally. Jesus has been telling us and showing us for a long time ” I love you this much !!!
Sandra that is so precious! And what a powerful vision! Thank you for sharing! 🙂