In From the Vine

By Alyssa Bormes

 

Oh – I have nothing to say – there are just disjointed thoughts spilling forth.

It is my father’s birthday today – and I remember his hugs – and they were so strong and loving. I miss you these 29 years since you died – do you hear me when I talk to you – do you still wipe my tears?

Today when I rose, I placed my trust in You, Jesus. I will serve You; what will You have me do?

When my doors and windows are open on a cool day – I love the sound of the birds and the wind in the trees.

My city has been on fire – man’s inhumanity to man has broken my heart – and nothing makes sense.

Today when I rose, I placed my trust in You, Jesus. I will serve You; what will You have me do?

Confession after confession – sin still visits me – my heart breaks at my weakness – in a way, it breaks again when You forgive me – Your grace is too much for me, but thank You, thank You for offering it to me.

What? Another boot cast? How is it that I can break my heel while attempting to write a thank you note? No wonder writing them is a lost art. It has been a month in the boot cast, there are three more weeks of it at least. I’ve decided to let this be hilarious instead of tragic.

What a joy to be a confirmation sponsor for one of my students. It makes me recall my own on April 1, 1979. Bishop Paul Dudley confirmed me and later became my spiritual father as he brought me back to the Church.

Today when I rose, I placed my trust in You, Jesus. I will serve You; what will You have me do?

My Scrabble club just met. The three of us were roommates in college in the 80s. I am Catholic, one friend is Jewish, and one is Baptist. It sounds like the beginning of a joke, but our friendship is one of the most wonderful resting places.

I’ve been baking pies with spring fruits. Having my hands in the dough reminds me of my mother and grandmother, which becomes a meeting place, and I pray with them there. Like them, I find enjoyment when others savor a piece of pie. It is especially a joy to spoil my two elderly neighbor ladies.

Today when I rose, I placed my trust in You, Jesus. I will serve You; what will You have me do?

Being a lector at Mass humbles me. How has it come to me to let Your words fall from my lips?

It was so good to speak to my big brother John one night recently when I was frightened and alone.

And then there was just the other night when I spoke to my stepbrother John. (Of all 17 siblings and stepsiblings –—there is only one name repeated — John). As one part of our conversation, we spoke of aging alone. Not his—he has a beautiful wife and two girls, but my aging alone. What odd pangs came to my heart.

Today when I rose, I placed my trust in You, Jesus. I will serve You; what will You have me do?

What an odd time – my heart breaks and exults all at once. My thoughts tumble, yet dance. And my body once more is home to a cast, but the pain is an offering in laughter.

What an odd time.

I don’t know what to do.

Which is why today when I rose, I placed my trust in You, Jesus. “I will serve You; what will You have me do?”

 

About the author:

Alyssa Bormes is an educator, author, speaker, and retreat leader. She currently teaches at the Chesterton Academy in Edina, Minnesota, writes for the Catholic Spirit, and the WINE blog, is the host of a weekly show, “Christian Witnesses in the Church,” on Radio Maria US, and is the author of The Catechism of Hockey. You can find her at alyssabormes.com.

 

 

Showing 16 comments
  • Rhonda Zweber
    Reply

    Oh my sweet Alyssa. You have brought me to tears with your simple yet deep profound thoughts and your beautiful prayer. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I love you!

    • Alyssa Bormes
      Reply

      Rhonda – Thank you! You are a gift!

  • Michele Schultz
    Reply

    Thank you for your inspiration, your words make my heart happy and light in this very dark time. Thank you for the reminder to Trust in Jesus. I needed this. You are an amazing women wish you were still at Saint Peter Church in North Saint Paul, miss you Michele Schultz

    • Alyssa Bormes
      Reply

      Ah – Michelle – I miss you – what a wonderful time it was to be at St. Peter’s – and to meet all of you!

  • Sharon
    Reply

    Beautiful thoughts.
    Thank you dear friend!

    • Alyssa Bormes
      Reply

      Thank you Sharon – you are a gift!

  • Teri Jackson
    Reply

    Alyssa,
    Words cannot express how much your sharing means to me. This is a beautiful, honest prayer and you have blessed me, thank you! Thank you for sharing your memories of your Dad on his birthday. My Mom died 30 years ago this August and I understand. Oh, how I miss her! May God bless you Alyssa.

    • Alyssa Bormes
      Reply

      Thank you so much Teri! What a blessing to me that it blessed you!

  • Elizabeth Ryan
    Reply

    Just beautiful and very close to my heart…. thank you…

    • Alyssa Bormes
      Reply

      Thank you Elizabeth – how wonderful that Our Good Lord could speak to you through these humble words.

  • Ruth
    Reply

    Thank you Alyssa!
    You are such a great treasure to so many!
    Your words continue to touch my heart!

    • Alyssa Bormes
      Reply

      Thank you Ruth – God is so good to use such humble words to touch your heart.

  • Bernadette Nelson
    Reply

    Alyssa, I love this. Your authenticity shines through loud and clear. I hope you don’t mind but I would like to use your montra as my own. It’s a beautiful prayer. It’s comforting to know that random thoughts can sound so eloquent. I will pay more attention to my random thoughts. I have many and they are all over the place. Thank you for sharing your joys and your heartaches with us. You are a blessing in my life. Thank you.

    • Alyssa Bormes
      Reply

      Thank you Bernadette – my own thoughts were so disjointed – and it seemed that was exactly how He wanted to reach me – yes, He will use the oddest ways to reach us – How very good of Our dear Lord.

  • Becca McCullough
    Reply

    Thank you very much for such a profound summary of thoughts and the beautiful prayer!
    We don’t know each other, but you sure spoke to my heart and put into words my thoughts and feelings.
    Thanks for sharing so much of yourself.

    • Alyssa Bormes
      Reply

      Ah – Becca – you are my sister in Christ! We may not know each other – but Christ knows us both – He has done this work of putting us together.

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