By Sarah Damm
I quietly lay there, waiting to see my baby’s heartbeat on the ultrasound screen. The technician, very compassionately and professionally, informed me that there was not one heartbeat … but two.
What does that mean? What is wrong with his heart that it would have two heartbeats?
It didn’t even occur to me that what she was saying meant that I was carrying two babies. Twins.
My first reaction was to laugh at the absurdity of it. How can this be? It’s ironic that my name is the same as another woman who laughed at her pregnancy (see Genesis 18).
But as it sunk in that I was going to have twins—a boy and a girl—a range of emotions swept over me.
Overwhelm, shock, and fear eventually turned to joy, as I contemplated the miracle of it all.
“I do not know how you came into existence in my womb; it was not I who gave you the breath of life, nor was it I who set in order the elements of which each of you is composed.” (2 Maccabees 7:22)
On the day of their birth, I had to have an unplanned cesarean. I remember my arms being strapped down and my body forming a cross. To me, this was a clear sign that I was being invited to surrender and trust in a new and deeper way.
And all I could do was pray.
I couldn’t even finish the prayer. I just repeated that line, over and over again.
As Mary trusted God with her Son, I had to trust Him with my twins. What Mary experienced with Jesus (from His birth to His death and resurrection), I am sure was not what she planned. Just like bringing twins into the world in such a dramatic way was not part of my plan.
But Mary trusted that God had a better plan than she ever could have hoped for, and on the day my twins were born—probably the hardest day of my life—I learned to trust that, too.
And isn’t that how God works? He brings us through the hardest thing—somethings we don’t think we have the strength to do—and transforms it with His grace into something so incredibly good!
Today, my twins turn 12. They are two of the best things that have ever happened to me. Sure, the early days of their life are a blur, fueled only by coffee and grace. But I am so blessed to be their mom! They are a constant reminder of God’s beautiful (and often mysterious) way of bringing us into His divine plan—which is always beyond our imagination.
About the author:
Sarah Damm is a Catholic wife and mother of six children, living in Minnesota. She spends her days running errands, helping with homework, and keeping up with laundry and the family schedule. Sarah loves her faith, coffee, and good books. You can find out more about her and her writing at sarahdamm.com.