By Sherry Kennedy Brownrigg
When I was a little girl, I created a character called Super Kennedy. Super Kennedy was different than little Sherry Kennedy. Super Kennedy could run faster than anyone, she could save old ladies from robbers, she was invincible. Super Kennedy didn’t feel the pain that little Sherry was experiencing. Little Sherry’s dad had died only a few years before when she was five, and the sudden ripping away of one of the people she most loved in the world left a raw, gaping wound in her life. Super Kennedy helped her escape the searing pain and uncertainty of what lay ahead.
When you are a young child, the sudden loss of a parent or sibling doesn’t make sense to you. It’s difficult for the young mind to comprehend the mystery of death, so the leaving of the loved one through death feels only like, well, leaving. Somehow you must have been responsible. Did I misbehave too often? Did I not love him very well? Did he not love me? Was I not enough to keep him here? My father’s death and my inability to understand it left an indelible mark on me that would color the rest of my life.
Growing up, I always felt that I wasn’t enough. Sure, I had friends and success in my work and ministry, and to the outside world probably looked confident and assured. But deep down, I was sure it was just luck or pity that kept my friends – even my husband – around. At any minute, they might pick up and find a friend or a wife who is prettier, more fun, more popular, better. At any minute, my boss or client will say they’ve found me out and they’re on to better people or companies. This nagging doubt and deep-down lack of confidence has plagued me my entire life. My husband, who is a psychotherapist (of course!), has told me for years that my lack of self confidence is driving my life. But only in this past year have I been able to see it, truly understand it and shake it into the dust bin of the past.
In God’s infinite wisdom, He knows what we need to bring about real and lasting change. For me, I needed to go through the process of being stripped of my pride, humiliated and beaten down to the point of deep embarrassment and desperation so that He could gently lead me to discover who He had created. In that process, I discovered that He made someone who isn’t yet perfect (that pesky free will), but she is someone who is loved beyond measure, by her father and her Father. She is a daughter of the King! She is loved so deeply by a God who, if only she existed, would die on a thousand crosses to save her. She is enough. The real Super Kennedy finally emerged.
I’ve received this gift from God, and it has changed me deeply. But the gift of knowing ourselves and loving who we are – who He created us to be – is not only for me. This is a gift that God wants to give all of us. We have been created for much more than believing we can never measure up to others or don’t deserve love. Whatever doubts you are experiencing today, ask the Lord to help you believe that His deep, eternal, mystical love for you is real. Ask Him to crush the feelings of doubt that you are lovable, worthy, enough.
Don’t wait another minute to start your own journey to believing that you the daughter of the King. You are enough!
About the author:
Sherry is the founder and president of the Kennedy Brownrigg Group, a PR and marketing firm working in the Catholic marketplace. She lives in Omaha with her husband Steve and 14-yr old chocolate lab Cookie, hopes to be a saint someday and her worst fear is not being of use in God’s kingdom. You can reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org.