In From the Vine

By Allison Gingras

“If you are going to trust God, then trust God.”

These wise words were spoken often by my beloved spiritual director, Deacon Jerry Ryan; who passed away in January. Deacon Jerry deftly guided my faith journey for over ten years. He always spoke direct (though lovingly) especially when it came to my battle with submitting to the Will of God.

A Lifetime of Worry

My lifelong struggle with anxiety exacerbates my ability to trust and that includes even the One who created me. My fears, rarely based on logic or fact, tend to focus on what I believe will be the inevitable horrible conclusion of any given situation. Deacon Jerry patiently talked me through many a panic attack; continually restoring my peace by drawing my attention back to the Truth.

After he had finished speaking, he said to Simon,
“Put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch.”
Simon said in reply,
“Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing,
but at your command I will lower the nets.”
When they had done this, they caught a great number of fish
and their nets were tearing. ” (Luke 5:1-11)

Peter was skeptical of the Lord’s plan, yet he obeyed. Here is where Peter and I are surprisingly alike and where I have Deacon Jerry to thank the most.

The Lord Wills Good

Over the last ten years, I had said a great many more yeses to the Lord’s plans than ever before, even when I was doubtful. I put into the deep water of the unknown where I know Jesus and his great love for me abide. Not every obedient act yielded an abundant return I may have hoped or expected, the real reward has come in the strengthening of my faith and trust in Jesus.

My obedience to Jesus’ commands has opened my heart and home to expanding our family through foreign adoption. It is the deepest water I have ever tossed a net. People with severe anxiety rarely sign themselves up to fly to China! Like Peter, my trust was rewarded with a bounty bigger than my ability to dream. Honestly, a life without my precious daughter is one I never want to imagine.

What Will You Trust God With?

Too numerous to count are the miraculous and remarkable ways the Lord has blessed my willingness to follow through on the nudges of the Holy Spirit in my life. Each time hearing Deacon Jerry’s joyful, compassionate, yet resolute voice in my head, “If you are going to trust God, kiddo, then you have no other choice but to trust God.”

Allison Gingras – ReconciledToYou.com – shares the beauty of the Catholic Faith with honesty, laughter, and relatable examples from the everyday, ordinary life!  She has created the Stay Connected Journals for Catholic Women (Gracewatch.Media/Connected) which includes her first book, The Gift of Invitation: 7 Ways Jesus Invites Us into a Life of GraceShe hosts A Seeking Heart with Allison Gingras on BreadboxMedia.com  Allison is a social media and book club Specialist with WINE: Women in the New Evangelization.

Showing 14 comments
  • Mary Rhatigan
    Reply

    Thank you

  • Mary Ellen DeSantis
    Reply

    Once again Allison God used you to bless me. I needed this right now. Thank you!

  • Cheryl Slattery
    Reply

    Thank you for sharing this. This is how God has been working in my life lately. Reading wonderful stories that help me give over my worries and trust in Him. Bless you.

    • Allison Gingras
      Reply

      He definitely uses NEW MEDIA to make himself known 🙂 OF course, why wouldn’t he?!! Bless YOU right back!! Thanks for making WINE part of your spiritual journey!

  • Sandy Kolb
    Reply

    Allison, This is one of my favorite passages…I too have learned to surrender all to the Lord through international adoption and what a huge blessing the journey has been! Two sons from Romania and from China 4 sons and a daughter. Like you, I can’t imagine our lives without these precious children…God is so good! Thanks you for sharing!

  • Kathy
    Reply

    Just beautiful! Thank you! And I wanted to share this beautiful meditation that my mom had made me aware of: it is by Fr Dolindo Ruotolo, the priest from Naples who St. Padre Pio said was a living saint. I love this reflection where Jesus talks to the soul; if you ever want to relax and feel our Lord’s comfort, just go to this link:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlGMJw4htG8

    • Allison Gingras
      Reply

      My Spiritual Director said an abandonment prayer from Charles de Foucauld every single day. In fact he had it placed on the back of the prayer card from his funeral. I LOVE the Surrender novena from Fr. Ruotolo – I haven’t done it in a few months, think its time to pull it out again! GREAT reminder!

  • Mary Jo Gerd
    Reply

    From one anxious mama to another, thank you! I needed to read this today! In our obedient vulnerability, He rewards.. my prayer for today.

    • Allison Gingras
      Reply

      I am always happy to learn I AM Not alone in my worrying 😉 and MY prayers for you right back!!

  • Carol Younger
    Reply

    Dear Allison, LOVED this brief glimpse into your trustful journey. Anxiety is a big part of every Christian’s walk with the Lord. I struggle with this all the time as well. Truth be told, almost everyone I know has issues with trust. Maybe that’s why He asked St. Faustina to emblazon that saying on the painting He wanted: “Jesus, I trust in You” (and not in myself, nor in my worries about the future).

    • Allison Gingras
      Reply

      Yup. That Trust thing is something!!! Thanks for sharing these insights, you always have great feedback!!

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