God’s Apparent Silence
About three years into my 23-year marriage, I sensed a growing resentment towards God’s apparent silence in my life. I met with our parish priest to discuss my failed infertility treatments and confess my rising anger and despair. I yearned for God’s comfort, support, and forgiveness. Shocked, I got the following, “My child, you place demands on God, yet fail to recognize the gift of life awaiting you. Ask God to open your heart and mind to adoption.”
That day, I left the Confessional disturbed and even more determined to follow my own pathway forward. After all, “who was this priest? And how could he tell me what to do?” This stubborn self-determination was blocking my gift of receptivity. Turning inward, I remained incapable of accepting God’s plan for my life and marriage. How easy is it to praise and welcome Jesus into our lives when all of our expectations come true? Conversely, how difficult to trust that same Jesus when we face a pathway that is not of our choosing.
Choosing My Response to God’s Plan
Can these difficulties crush us? Cause us to run away in fear or anger? Yes. However, they can simultaneously water the heart’s desire for love. Ironically, it is often life’s crosses which help us to embrace God’s plan for our lives. Three years later, Tom and I met our beautiful newborn, adoptive son, Joseph. That month, I returned to my parish priest, the one who had provided such frank but necessary guidance, to confess my earlier lack of trust. Smiling, he said, “your previous feelings of uneasiness did not indicate a lack of trust, but a willing opening of your heart to God. The very act of seeking out His comfort and forgiveness in the Confessional, despite your interior struggle with your self-determination, marked the start of your turning back to God and His plans for you.”
The Gift of Receptivity
Receptivity does not require self-assurance, but our willing trust and obedience amidst life’s uncertainties and pain. Jesus, I am trying to trust in You. Show me how.
Open For Discussion:
Have you experienced a time when God’s plans were not exactly your plans? Have you come to a place of acceptance and readiness to receive all God has for you? If so, how? Do you believe in God’s promise that all He allows in our lives is for good (Romans 8:28)?
About the Author:
Karen Sheehy is a devout Catholic, wife and mother, motivational speaker, blogger and developer of spiritualsafariguide.com, your passport to a world of spiritual inspiration and understanding. To learn more about Karen Sheehy and her upcoming book entitled, The Healing Eyes of Mercy. A Journey Towards the Light of God’s Love, visit http://www.spiritualsafariguide.com