By Sharon Wilson
On April 5, 1993, we lost our son to Sudden Infant Death. The anniversary of his death has so many emotions attached to it. Jordan, who’s twin sister Courtney were long awaited children and born a bit premature – entered the world perfect. The shock of having a child die suddenly and out of the blue wreaked havoc on our lives, spiritually, emotionally and physically. Death is part of the cycle of life but it is out of order for a parent to lose a child.
The emotions I have felt through these 24 years on this anniversary have been varied. For many years, it was only of grief and anger. I stayed angry at God for a long time, wanting an answer for why Jordan had to die.
This last year, through the Year of Mercy, I made it a point to focus on forgiveness. I prayed daily a forgiveness prayer and recalled people in my life who, for whatever reason, had left me hurt. I prayed to forgive them and I prayed for them. Sometimes there is no one to be angry at but God when bad things happen. He can take it and give only love in return.
It didn’t happen all at once, but in the truth of daily forgiving, I soon realized something. When I was chained to the anger of the bad things in my life, like Jordan’s death, I was never really free. I may never know why bad things happen. It is a paradox but living in the paradox is what we are called to do.
In today’s Gospel it says:
“If you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples,
and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
For me, the freedom came from the truth that I need to just be a disciple and not know the why. The truth comes by being a disciple and being a disciple means imitating Christ and trusting in Him.
We are in our last days of countdown before Holy Week. Is there anyone you need to forgive? Even God?
Enter Holy Week with a clean heart and seek out confession, ask forgiveness and forgive in return.
About the Author:
Sharon Wilson – Wife, Mother, Writer, Catholic Speaker, and a WINE Specialist. Sharon has a degree in education and has worked as a freelance writer, Respect Life Coordinator, a teacher, in advertising, radio, buyer and in youth advocacy – She even rode an elephant in the circus once! Sharon speaks, writes and shares about God’s healing and about the great gift of being Catholic.