New Wine Wednesday

13 May 2015

You Cannot Bear it Now

by Alyssa Bormes


“I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now.” John 16:12

It was another terrible day during the “dark years,” and death was my only wish. However, six years later to the hour, I met Pope John Paul II, and kissed his ring.

Those six years earlier, I was in the fetal position on the floor of the shower with the cold-water running hoping that oblivion would come. There were a number of urgings that I “heard” in my soul, which began with turning off the water, and ended with going to sleep, although it was only midmorning.

If, on that day, God had told me I would later meet the Pope, I would have been terrified. My life was a disaster; innumerable things needed to change to bring order. But with God, we are on a “need to know” basis. On that dreadful day, I could only bear the idea of gathering myself enough to go to bed, finding safety in sleep. But He knew His plans; He had more to tell me.

Life is a wild ride. Certainly, there are difficulties that, in His Mercy, He will not reveal to me today. And most certainly, there are joys so intense that, in His Wisdom, He will keep to Himself a bit longer.

And I will rest in His words, “I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now.”