By Roxane B. Salonen

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” ~John 13:34

In reading The Five Love Languages some years ago, I wasn’t at all surprised to find that I am a “words of affirmation” girl through and through. 

Upon first hearing the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” I immediately became suspicious. Words can hurt more than anything, even more than a broken bone. I knew this from early on, for due to being what my parents called a “monkey” who liked climbing trees, my limbs often ended up well-cast.

Those falls hurt, but worse were the stern words of my father when upset with me, or my peers when they would say unkind things. My bones healed, but it took more to heal my heart from cutting condemnations.

Golden-mouthed guidance

On September 13th, we traditionally celebrate one attuned to both words and heart. St. John Chrysostom’s very name means “golden-mouthed;” he was known as a brilliant public speaker, but with a heart formed by Christ. 

Surely, Matthew 12:34 resonated with him: “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Without a heart set firmly in, and firstly on, Christ’s love, our impressive sentences fail in their mission. Our words either attract others to Christ or repel them from him—a weighty, and even eternal, proposition.

As an example, St. John Chrysostom once said, “If you cannot find Christ in the beggar at the church door, you will not find Him in the chalice.” This makes me pause, for I know that if I only focus on the glory of God in the Mass but ignore the poor peering at me from the threshold beyond, I’ve failed in grasping the gift of the Eucharist. 

Bridging the divide 

Writing about faith for my state’s largest daily, I am well aware of how carefully I must regard my tongue while attempting to speak truth to a wounded world in a way that will attract, not repel. Whenever I am mingling with the world, I best serve God in embracing a posture of humility, recognizing first my own poverty, my own great need for Christ.

St. John Chrysostom is a beautiful example for our time, when words are often flung about the internet carelessly, and divisions run deep. How can we bridge the divide, as Christ-followers, through our words? 

It takes extra effort to train our tongues to speak, or write, only that which can be a balm to others. We need truth, yes, but we need truth paired with a heart intent on saving souls.

In today’s Gospel reading, we learn forgiveness must involve the heart to be authentic. In the end, words won’t be enough. Our offering must go heart deep, and it’s not something we can hide. God is a sincerity detector. But we can start by practicing the kind of Christ-like love He gives us through His Word; love that may be undeserved, but is offered, nevertheless.

For help, we can call upon the golden-mouthed saint: St. John Chrysostom, pray for us!

Prayer:

Dear Lord, words mean so much to me, and I know they can heal or hurt. Please help me to form my heart, through connecting it with Yours every day, so that when my mouth speaks to the weary world, or even to the one right next to me, it will be with words that draw them closer to You.

Call to Action:

Sometimes, speaking to others with love means starting with ourselves. Some years ago, I began writing notes to myself as if from God, starting, “Dear Beloved….” I needed to hear God say these words to me daily. Once filled up with His Fatherly love in my heart, I was able to be more generous to others, seeing them, too, as His beloved who deserve the best.

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