By Mary Ellen Barrett

“Hear me, all of you, and understand: there is nothing outside a man which by going into him can defile him; but the things which come out of a man are what defile him.” ~ Mark 7:14–15

There is a saying that we become like the five people we spend the most time with. It’s one of those uncomfortable truths we would rather ignore—but deep down, we know it’s real. Our speech patterns, frustration levels, and even how we choose to spend our free time are shaped by the company we keep and the content we consume.

Yet Jesus gently shifts our focus. He reminds us that true holiness is not about what enters us from the outside, but what flows out from within. Our words, reactions, attitudes, and choices reveal the true condition of our hearts. So, we might ask ourselves: How carefully are we guarding our hearts? Are we surrounding ourselves with people, habits, and media that make us comfortable with what we should be resisting instead?

The Echo of Old Habits

Over thirty years ago, I worked on a trading floor where vulgar language and materialism were simply part of the culture. It was easy—almost effortless—to absorb those habits. Even now, traces of that environment still linger. It’s a humbling reminder that what we immerse ourselves in leaves a mark, often long after we think we’ve moved on.

For women juggling many roles—wife, mother, friend, caregiver, professional—it’s easy to slip into autopilot. Stress builds. Old wounds resurface. We snap. We judge. We compare. We withdraw. But imagine what could change if we invited Christ to soften our hearts each day. Our homes might feel more peaceful. Our conversations more patient. Our relationships more grace-filled. This is the quiet miracle of surrender.

Jesus goes straight to the heart—but never to shame us. He reveals what is hidden so that He can heal it. He loves us too much to leave us wounded, defensive, or divided within ourselves.

Making Room for Grace

As Lent approaches, Jesus invites us to examine our hearts—not with fear, but with hope. Ask Him to show you what needs healing. Trust that He delights in your desire to grow. Holiness is not about flawless behavior; it is about a heart that keeps turning back to Him, again and again.

Prayer:

Use this week before Lent as a quiet spiritual “house cleaning.” Each evening, reflect on what flowed from your heart that day—your words, reactions, and attitudes—and reflect on what motivates your responses. Commit to bringing anything you are struggling with to Confession this Lent.

Call to Action:

Lord, search my heart with Your loving gaze. Heal what is broken, soften what is hardened, and purify what is wounded. Help me to reflect Your love in my words and actions today. Amen.

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