By Melanie Baker Trimarco
“And the apostles said to the Lord: Increase our faith.” ~ Luke 17:5
How?
How can we increase our faith when we are so human?
We just do.
The world around us is filled with uncertainty and volatility, and we can become numb to our surroundings and our own self. Our circumstances of daily living, trials, tribulations, and losses can cause our faith to be unsteady.
I buried my husband of 15 years in 2017. I buried my precious mom in August of this year. Just as my husband’s passing reshaped my daily life, my mother’s death has touched my spirit in a different way. Losing my spouse felt unbearable to get through each day. Losing my mom, the person who gave birth to me and loved me like no one else could, also feels unbearable.
Both losses hit me twice. My husband had a lengthy illness. I surrendered the role of loving spouse to loving caregiver long before he went to Jesus. My mom had dementia, and I struggle to recall the last real conversation I had with her. It was a long goodbye for both of them.
When I reflect on how I was able to “get through” the loss of my husband, I always said it would have been impossible had Jesus not been in my life and right next to me. I always said it was FAITH that allowed me to veer toward the light rather than darkness.
My Mom’s death has struck me in a unique way. My mom lived a long life, our family took advantage of celebrating at every opportunity, and we gave her love, dignity, and respect when she relied on us for everything in the last years of her life.
What is different about THIS loss?
My faith has actually deepened with the loss of my Mom. I find myself looking forward to accepting the Eucharist each Sunday. I know that when I receive Holy Communion, I am one with Jesus and all who have gone before me. That alone gives me peace and comfort.
We are striving to be Saints. We are striving to be with Jesus.
Call to Action – Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet today.
Today’s saint is St. Faustina, the apostle of Divine Mercy. In my mother’s final hours, many of us—family and friends—prayed the Divine Mercy Chaplet, asking Jesus to receive her with mercy and love. God answered with grace: my mother passed quickly and peacefully.
Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself.
Let this be our prayer and path toward deeper faith.
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Melanie, Thank you for your vulnerability and willingness to share your journey. As a recent widow (my husband passed last November, after a year’s accompanying him as caregiver as he battled lung cancer), so I identify well with your description of how life is reshaped by loss. Prayers that the Lord draws you even closer into His loving embrace as you grieve the loss of your mom, too.